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vintage_belle) wrote2011-04-11 12:40 am
vintage_belle) wrote2011-04-11 12:40 am
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I have been going through my things like a madwoman this weekend, largely because my closet is so much smaller than I remember it being. So too my drawers have things in them that I don't remember putting there, and my desk remains covered in manuals for computer games I no longer own (among other things). I also came across several notebooks and folder from college. In one of them was this piece of paper from my Spring 2008 satire class, taught by Professor Goldgar. (I am sure it will shock you to hear that with my stunning lack of wit or ability to understand its intricacies, I didn't do well in this class.)
The sheet contains instructions of things not to do when writing papers for the class, written as only Professor Goldgar could have. Despite my lack of success with satire - I'll sit around enjoying it, thanks, but writing it will have to be left to others - and despite the nature of the instructions, I found myself smiling as I read it. I can't really remember his voice, but I remember him, and I remember the class, and I remember better times that I would sometimes kill to be able to return to.
So because I don't need the paper but don't want to lose the content, I'm transcribing it.
B. GOLDGAR: SPRING 2008
A LIST OF BARBARIC PHRASES OR USAGES TO BE AVOIDED in work submitted to me. NB: The worst offenses are given earlier in the list.
1) DO NOT use the word "reference" to mean "refer to."
Example: "In these lines Swift is referencing Celia's excrement."
No one of taste or intelligence would misuse the innocent noun "reference" in such a barbaric fashion, and I cannot permit it. Please say, "refer to."
2) Do NOT use the word "transition" to mean "to change," or "to move from one situation to another."
Example: "Then Swift transitions to especially nauseating images."
The word is a noun, not a verb, except in certain technical situations. It should not be used as a verb in the polite discourse of educated people.
3) DO NOT use plural pronouns ("their," for example) when the antecedent is singular (e.g. "everyone," "anybody," etc.). If for political (or medical) reasons you cannot bring yourself to say "he," then use only plural forms for both pronouns and antecedents.
Example: Say "Students should sign the pledge on their papers," not "A student should sign the pledge on their paper." But of course, "A student should sign the pledge on his paper" is perfectly correct.
NB: The use of "his or her" more than once in a given paper is barbaric.
4) DO NOT put transitional sentences at the end of paragraphs. It almost never works, despite what your high school or FS teacher may have told you. Put such sentences at the beginning of the paragraph which begins the discussion of the new topic!
5) DO NOT use labels for writers you are citing: as in "critic Bertrand Goldgar claims...." or "scholar Garrison Keillor believes...." You are not writing for a shoddy newspaper or news magazine. Not yet, anyway.
The sheet contains instructions of things not to do when writing papers for the class, written as only Professor Goldgar could have. Despite my lack of success with satire - I'll sit around enjoying it, thanks, but writing it will have to be left to others - and despite the nature of the instructions, I found myself smiling as I read it. I can't really remember his voice, but I remember him, and I remember the class, and I remember better times that I would sometimes kill to be able to return to.
So because I don't need the paper but don't want to lose the content, I'm transcribing it.
B. GOLDGAR: SPRING 2008
A LIST OF BARBARIC PHRASES OR USAGES TO BE AVOIDED in work submitted to me. NB: The worst offenses are given earlier in the list.
1) DO NOT use the word "reference" to mean "refer to."
Example: "In these lines Swift is referencing Celia's excrement."
No one of taste or intelligence would misuse the innocent noun "reference" in such a barbaric fashion, and I cannot permit it. Please say, "refer to."
2) Do NOT use the word "transition" to mean "to change," or "to move from one situation to another."
Example: "Then Swift transitions to especially nauseating images."
The word is a noun, not a verb, except in certain technical situations. It should not be used as a verb in the polite discourse of educated people.
3) DO NOT use plural pronouns ("their," for example) when the antecedent is singular (e.g. "everyone," "anybody," etc.). If for political (or medical) reasons you cannot bring yourself to say "he," then use only plural forms for both pronouns and antecedents.
Example: Say "Students should sign the pledge on their papers," not "A student should sign the pledge on their paper." But of course, "A student should sign the pledge on his paper" is perfectly correct.
NB: The use of "his or her" more than once in a given paper is barbaric.
4) DO NOT put transitional sentences at the end of paragraphs. It almost never works, despite what your high school or FS teacher may have told you. Put such sentences at the beginning of the paragraph which begins the discussion of the new topic!
5) DO NOT use labels for writers you are citing: as in "critic Bertrand Goldgar claims...." or "scholar Garrison Keillor believes...." You are not writing for a shoddy newspaper or news magazine. Not yet, anyway.